Cowardice. The word collided against my ribcage and settled within the pit of my stomach as the underground tube of London sped along the tracks.
It had been a long day of mundane business meetings for Jackamo and I that began at the crack of dawn. Though I suppose I would have been awake at 5 am regardless. Nonetheless, my craving for the comfort of home and perhaps a cup of tea surpassed eveything at this point.
Well, almost everything…
The IPhone screen rested in my palm was brilliantly lit, to the point where it strained my eyes immensely. But should I lower the brightness setting, it would require navigating away from the drafted text message my thumb was currently hovered over. It twitched and fidgeted, but never dared to make even the slightest contact with the touch screen. Coward.
A soft sigh left my lips as I continued to stare at the familiar name in the recipient’s box. I’d like to say that Tessa and I simply haven’t spoken in exactly a week. However, the truth was that I was completely clueless to any essence of her being at this point. Despite living in the same floor of the same building, I had not caught even a glimpse of those dark toffee colored waves. Though it was only 7 days, the atmosphere was as strange as ever without her company.
I recall her bit of panicking from that morning before she ran for it, not giving any chance at explanations. She depended only on her thoughts and her speculations alone. And that was the root of my worry. Each time I brought myself to seek her out, I succumb to the mere fear that she may dismiss me at once from her life without allowing a sound from me. Stubborness was one quality she did not lack.
A light chuckle beside me pulled me out of my stream of pessimistic scrutiny. Jack was deep in conversation, text conversation that was, with somebody. The possibility of Ella being on the other end was too great. After almost two years, these kind of things don’t bother me anymore. Though the gnawing sensation inside was gradually increasing. It was poisonous in a sense, to anticipate a jealousy that may one day overwhelm my self control.
It was irritating, really. Seeing his variety of amused and cheerful expressions out of the corner of my eyes every couple of seconds. As if he was purposely flaunting, or perhaps it was just my bitter mood.
"Wait a second.." I suddenly drawled out, causing Jack to spare a glance in my direction before averting his eyes back to his phone. "… Doesn’t Ella have class right now?"
"Not talking to Ella." He responded. Quick. Simple. Too effortless.
Call it whatever you want, twin telepathy even, but it was all too evident that something was off.
"Then who are you talking to?" I questioned once more, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
"Nobody." The one word was almost unintelligible with the speed it tumbled out with. His tongue failed him as it fumbled with the next couple of words that most definitely composed a lie. "…Just, uh, Marcus."
Right. I gave a nod that was as convincing as his reply. Though I didn’t push any further for the truth. Not when it wasn’t meant for me to obtain. And I returned to my pathetic state of staring at a name in a phone, unknown and conflicted and afraid of making a next move.
Laughters of pure amusement resonated from my lips as Jack raced to the bathroom the second I unlocked the front door to our flat. I shouted an apology in between breaths for the fact I purposely took my time searching for keys while in the hallway, purely so I could watch him jump up and down in frustration and lack of bladder control. He’s done it to me enough times after all.
Curses muffled through the distance of the walls within the apartment flat sent me into another round of hilarity. I struggled to regain composure as Jack’s phone that was tossed onto the counter went beserk from about 5 rounds of generic incoming text alert and vibration.
"Jesus…" I muttered under my breath as my curiosity got the best of me.
I expected the unexpected, but what I saw still caught me off guard.
5 new messages from Tessa Calidan.
A/N: I’m sorry I know I said a new chapter would be out but this is as much as I can write for tonight. It’s like writer’s block mixed with a really tired and stressed brain. I know that’s no excuse when I promised and you’re probably frustrated but I’m really sorry :(
Anyways, I’ve taken down all the stuff I’ve published regarding to which ending I should write. I’m still conflicted but I do want it to be a surprise so I’m not gonna publish anymore, but please keep sending your opinions (happy ending or bittersweet ending?) in!
I really gotta sleep now, I’ll try to get the chapter out tomorrow.